Friday, July 13, 2007

The things people say...

"At least she's cute."

Hmmmmm. Is that supposed to be a compliment?

Don't you mean, "Lucky girl, not only is she practically PERFECT in every way...she's cute too???"


27 comments:

Donnie said...

Poor, poor Holland and Eden!

Just Me said...

Those totally thoughtless comments can be much more frustrating than ones made out of ignorance. I have a very large purple birthmark on my hand and arm. It's very visible, birthmarks of this sort come with some medical issues, and people notice it and react all the time. Yet people constantly tell me "You're so lucky it's not on your face". I got so fed up I looked at one woman and said "why? You still think it's bad enough to mention" She shut up.....

The meanest thing anyone ever said to me about the birthmark didn't annoy me as much as the words I hear almost daily.

kellarsmommy said...

Not only is Eden soooo beyond cute, she's happy, always smiling, I'm sure she is more than a joy to be around, has the sweetest most adorable smile that is contagious,she's determined and most of all she is simply AMAZING..

baby james said...

People have no CLUE! At least from children you can expect there innocense but in adults it is ignorance. Tracy

Jodi Devine said...

Cute? Obvioulsy this person needs a thesarus! There are many WONDERFUL adjectives to describe Eden and Holland!!!!!!! Using just one doesn't cut it for me.

That person's loss anyway.

Big hugs,
Love Jodi and Tom
xxx

Laura said...

I think Holland and Eden, despite their special needs will be able to live happy and full lives even if they need extra support or things to be modified for them. They have many good things going for them. They are healthy, they come from a wonderful supportive family, and they live in a country with many resources. Many children face very difficult challenges in their lives (i.e illness or disability, losing their parents at a young age, witnessing a disaster such as Hurricane Katrina) and yet, although permanantly changed (like your twins were from their prematurity), they go on. They do not want to be pittied, they want to live and enjoy their lives to the fullest. One of my best friends lost her father, brother, and suffered a severe brain injury at age 8. She is now 23. The last thing she wants is pity. Despite being in a wheelchair and having cognitive disabilites she has a very active social life and has even been in a long term relationship with a boyfriend for the last 3 years. You've got to take the resources/abilties you have and make the best of them, enjoy life to the fullest, and hopefully leave the world a better place.

Emily said...

Cute is an understatement! Holland and Eden are absolutely gorgeous! And they are PERFECT in every way.

Holland - I love the Rolie Polie Olie costume!

Eden - Your smile always brightens my day!

Shannon said...

SO CUTE!

Viscouse said...

"Those totally thoughtless comments..."
I prefer "Those spectacularly ignorant comments..."

Frankly, I'm glad it takes me a whole day to come up with a equally cutting comment.

Ani said...

Your girls are just beautiful, and on top of their beauty, they are happy, happy children.

sarah said...

What amazing little girls you have, seeing their smiles always brighten my day!

raeday said...

Ok, first I have to say Holland is so CUTE in that rollie pollie ollie outfit!

And Eden is adorable too, always has the best smile! I noticed in the top picture she doens't have her headband on...I've gotten so used to seeing her pictures with it always on I had to double take seeing her without it lol.

I don't know why stupid people make such blunt comments. They don't even realize that Eden is one very special little girl who is able to love life to its fullest capacity. I adrire her. and Holland too, you've been blessed with two extraordinary girls!

Billie said...

Raeday: Eden's headband is off because the balloons were generating so much static her hair was standing up! I didn't want to take a chance with the static zapping her Cochlear Implant processor:)

Notice how the front of her hair is broken off because of the headband... Oh well, the headband HAS become her signature look!

abby said...

GRRRR...How totally and utterly ignorant and thoughtless. I didn't have a high tolerance for ignorami (ae? I'm awful at Latin endings) before I was a micropreemie mom, and I have even less tolerance now. Anyway, I am sure that you came up with some response more graceful than one that I could have mustered.

Funny about Eden's hair...we showed you Hallie's canula line, right? Her hair is coming in even thicker, but it's still there. I am sure that our girls are trend-setting and that someday someone will pay super duper huge amounts of money for haircuts that give them that interrupted hair look.

Renee said...

Ok...had to come out of lurkerdom (I'm sure that isn't a word) for this one. You are very gracious to say "totally thoughtless"--my response was much less appropriate and classy!

Both your girls do seem to be so happy and lovely, but they are clearly so many other wonderful things as well....

Anonymous said...

Delurking as well.

I'll never forget the day in highschool when someone told my friend Becky (who had CP) that "at least she was thin"... she pushed the girl over into a bush with her wheelchair.

I miss Becky. We lost touch after highschool. She taught me so much about what disability was/wasn't just by being a completely normal teenage girl.

S x

Laura: Preemie Lily's Mom said...

I just wanted to add that Holland and Eden are both so adorable. Billie, have you ever considered allowing them to model? They have such a joyfulness which comes across in their pictures.

Kim said...

*sigh* I so like to think that those people don't actually exist. Surely real live people can't actually be that ignorant and insensitive?! Cute. Yes, she is cute. But she is also brilliantly happy, smart, determined and spunky. And the fact that she can be all of those things while having to work so hard to overcome such an obstacle as CP, just makes her that much more amazing. Why do people have such a hard time seeing and understanding that it's not "At least she's cute," it's "at least she's a miracle" and is here to brighten the lives of those who know and love her?

Anonymous said...

I think both girls are absolutely darling!!!

Rachel McConathy

Anonymous said...

Billie - how did you respond to that one? "You must have had obstacles to overcome, and life must be difficult, because you're not cute at all! Dumb ass! I hate when people make comments that catch me off guard, and I have comeback after the fact.

From what I can see, your girls are both bright and beautiful!

Vickie

Kbreints said...

At least she is cute? So that means that she has so much MORE than that to offer!

Anonymous said...

I think all of us say inappropriate things without realizing how our words affect another person. Ignore ill-spoken remarks. It doesn't really matter anyway. Each of us has a different road to travel, some easier and some more difficult than anothers.

23wktwins'mommy said...

Who the hell said that? I can't be as understanding (classy?) as maybe some others can be...I apologize. I would NOT have handled that well. I can only imagine what I would have said in response.
In my younger years slapping the person would probably not been out of the question...semi joking.
I hope you had something really moving to say that really shook him/her up.
Side note: they truly are beautiful girls.

Jacqui said...

Comment I got yesterday about Moo was - "gee, he's all there isn't he?".
Hhmmm.

Anonymous said...

i also got a similar comment from a friend about my granddaughter that was born at 26 weeks weighing 2lbs 3 oz.. she said

is she all there? i mean mentally. people are so thoughtless and cruel....

i had someone say to me after she was born not to get attached to her as she may not make it..

Anonymous said...

People can say all kinds of cruel and insensitive things without ever realizing what they are doing. As an adoptive parent I could write a book on the insensitivity that thrives in our society (said in front of my daughter in the store last weekend, "she is so adorable, I'll never understand why her mom didn't want her.")

I've found a calm, unexpected response in usually the most effective. To the above, I simply replied in the sweetest voice I could get through gritted teeth, "whatever do you mean; as her mom I can assure you that I most definitely want her!

I get my point accross without creating a confrontation...maybe next time they are speaking in front of a child who has been adopted they'll think before they speak.

Anonymous said...

some people just dont get it I feel sorry for them in there silly messed up lives. YOur girls are very lucky and sweet.