Sunday, February 01, 2009

The Dreaded Letters

R
S
V


The three letters that every preemie parent lives in total fear of. I felt like I got socked in the stomach when the ER doctor told me.

So Eden has had a little runny nose off and on for about a week. Nothing I was worried about at all. She was still happy and eating fine, so I even sent her to school. The real trouble started on Wednesday night at bedtime. She started coughing and pretty much coughed all night. We started breathing treatments, and on Thursday I got her ready for school but she was still coughing through breakfast so I decided to keep her home. Around lunch time the cough was sounding really "juicy" so I called the doctor's office and got her an appointment at 5pm.

The doctor was concerned with how bad her lungs sounded, and she had fluid in one of her ears, so we started an antibiotic and got a lung xray. We made it through that night at home with John and I rotating treatments every 3+ hours around the clock. On Friday I called the office and found out that they did not think it looked like bacterial/aspiration pneumonia, but rather viral and/or reactive airway disease (asthma). We decided to continue with the antibiotic, and add an oral steroid. Friday night was more of the same, with treatments round the clock. Early in the day on Saturday she seemed to be holding her own, and we thought maybe she would turn the corner. Instead she got progressively worse as the day went on and just before dinner, when she wasn't even lasting 2 hours before needing another treatment, we decided we had to bite the bullet.

I was second guessing myself right up until we walked through the door because she fell asleep in the car and was breathing so nicely. I didn't want to wake her up. Then we got to triage and she was satting 97, which is good, so I was thinking "great, a $50 copay and they will just send us home!" And she continued to do pretty well for the first hour or so, but as time went on and she got more and more tired, her sats started dropping. They gave 5 albuterol treatments in 5 hours and she seemed to be getting worse instead of better, so they were going to admit us anyway...then the RSV test came back positive. Bummer.

I could write a whole post ranting about the FIVE ATTEMPTS it took to get an IV in, and how I seriously wanted to KILL somebody, but instead ended up breaking down in tears after trying really hard to keep it together.

Last night was miserable. Completely and totally flippin miserable. We didn't get to our room until 11:30pm, and Eden didn't get to sleep until midnight. She was completely exhausted. Then, EVERY SINGLE TIME somebody new came in the room and touched her she completely freaked out. They were coming in about every hour. She was inconsolable, screaming and crying, saying such things as "Mommy, it hurts me, I'm scared, and No, no, no I don't want it." It was sad, and scary, and miserable and nobody got ANY sleep. As I've said before, I HATE nighttime in the hospital.

Things are better now. Eden is much more relaxed now that we've had a chance to talk about it and check the place out. Her oxygen needs are really low during the day (we just weaned her down to a quarter liter and she's doing fine), but all hell breaks loose at night. I'm putting my money on a discharge around Wednesday. We'll see how it goes.

To top it off...as if all of this wasn't bad enough....John just texted me that Holland is coughing a lot and has a runny nose. We could very well end up with two kids in the hospital once again. Sigh.

I don't have my camera with me, so I'll post this one for myself...to remember how she looks when life is GOOD!

22 comments:

Cora said...

Oh my goodness Billie....how awful for all of you! I'll be sure to keep Eden in my prayers for a speedy recovery, and I'll pray for Holland to not join you! Good luck!

Dandelion Quilts said...

Billie and John,
Here's to a speedy recovery for Eden and Holland both. I hope tonight is better in the hospital as well. You sound so tired Billie, I hope you get rest tonight too...not just Eden. You're in my thoughts.

Anonymous said...

You are in our prayers. Eden is a brave little one. I hope you have a winter break coming up soon like us.
Claire

Anonymous said...

Oh girlfriend, am thinking of you and wishing you a more restful evening in the hospital. Love to you all. Jess

Anonymous said...

Give her a kiss from me! I'll keep my fingers crossed you are home soon and Holland is there to greet you 100% well!! Let me know if you need anything. P.S. Little Ethan sends Eden a kiss too!

Mel said...

Oh Billie, I'm sorry! I can only imagine how hard and stressful it is on you and John. I do hope Eden has a speedy recovery and Holland is okay.

Anonymous said...

Eden and Holland we are sending get well thoughts your way!!! The hospital is NO fun as we all know too well. Billie and John hang in there and we are sending caffiene boosts your way. Maggie loves the pic of Eden BTW.

Kelly

Anonymous said...

Thinking of you guys!

Sarah Furlough said...

I will keep Eden in my prayers...and the rest of you as well.

Ellen said...

Oh, that just sucks.... I hope Eden recovers asap, and that Holland doesn't come down with it. I hate hospitals, too, after spending two weeks in the NICU when Max was born. And, yeah, nighttime's there are their own kind of hell.

Anonymous said...

She is just so funny and so darn cute. I know it is tough. We are keeping both girls in our prayers. It was fun waking up this morning to Holland finding me in dad's bed. She is a riot. Hoping and praying God works fast. Love ya

Beth said...

I'm really sorry to hear this. Hang in there... she'll be out of the hospital, all healthy, before you know it. Thinking of you all!

Carolynn from Western Australia said...

Billie and John,

So sorry to hear the girls are sick. We too have a problem with RSV during the Winter months mainly but it is also around during the Summer to some degree. It is the bain of any parent with young kids, especially pre-termers but as they grow they seem to cope with it far better. Make sure yourself and John keep yourselves well and drink plenty of fluids as Adults can get it too.

I wish them both a speedy recovery and look forward to seeing more pics of them soon.

Take Care
Lots of Love Carolynn :-)

liz.mccarthy said...

Oh Billie, I'm so sorry sweetie....
Poor Eden, I hope and pray that Holland is ok.....

Oh my.....

Liz M

Sarah said...

oh NO! Hugs to you all, and fingers crossed that Holland doesn't have it, too!

Sarah said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Monique in TX said...

Billie,

I'm reading your post and I will be praying for all of you. What struck me, though, was that Eden TOLD you that it hurt and that she was scared and she could HEAR you when you TALKED ABOUT IT TOGETHER. This hospital stay is frustrating and a bit scary and sad, but compared with the milestones this wonderful child has reached (and will keep reaching!), it is just a bump in the road. You are all just AMAZING. Hang in there.

Hugs all around.

Billie said...

"What struck me, though, was that Eden TOLD you that it hurt and that she was scared and she could HEAR you when you TALKED ABOUT IT TOGETHER."

This comment brought tears to my eyes, because it is SO TRUE! It has been running through my mind how much different this stay is because she is talking so much. In fact, every time someone comes in and asks how she is, she says "great!", even when she's not. She's such a sweetie.

And, by the way, last night was amazingly better, and she has been off the oxygen all day today. If she can maintain through the night while she is sleeping, we will go home tomorrow.

And Holland is still holding her own at home.

Good news all around!

Bird said...

Glad to hear (in the comments) that things have improved since you posted this. The hospital stinks and I'll be praying for a speedy recovery for both girls.

Shannon and Carey said...

It's Monday and I'm hoping Eden is on the mend! :)
-Shannon in Austin

jungletwins said...

Oh gosh, I live in fear of my twins getting RSV. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I am glad, however, that Eden has such loving parents to help her through this.

tripleblessings said...

So sorry to hear about the dreaded virus. Sending prayers for Eden to bounce back soon, and Holland to stay home and stay well. Hang in there!